It’s not just paychecks, y’all. Heterosexual cis-women report having orgasms “always or usually” about 30% less of the time than men. The most recent data on the “orgasm gap” comes from a study by Frederick et al. in 2017. Researchers asked people how often they “usually or always orgasmed when sexually intimate.” 95% of straight men said they did, whereas only 65% of straight and bisexual women agreed. Yikes! .
Good news, though: 85% of lesbians said they usually orgasmed, as did most bi and gay men. On the flip side, the bad news is that it seems like only women who are sleeping with men are having fewer orgasms…
Pleasure isn’t just about reaching orgasm, but they’re still important to many folks. So how can we close the gap? The researchers who did this study found that women who tended to have the most orgasms were likely to do the following:
• receive more oral sex
• have longer duration of last sex
• be more satisfied with their relationship
• ask for what they want in bed
• praise their partner for something they did in bed
• wear sexy lingerie
• try new sexual positions
• anal stimulation
• act out fantasies
• incorporate sexy talk • express love during sex
• call/email to tease about doing something sexual .
SO: You want to close the gap, right? For you and/or your partner? Awesome, I knew you’d be down. 🙂 Here’s how to do it:
1️⃣ Take ownership and responsibility for your own pleasure.
2️⃣ Find/be a partner who is generous and open-minded.
3️⃣ Communicate with your partner about your wants, needs, and desires.
So in summary: be desirous, be adventurous, be lustful and go after that orgasm (and/or all the pleasure leading up to it)! And find a partner who is EXCITED to give you pleasure and experiment with you.
Findings from Frederick et al. (2017) Archives of Sexual Behavior 47:1