“Is it wrong to want sex when you’re on your period?”
Well, the shorter answer is: No.
Let me start by giving you a short research update in the wondrous, myth-busting field of Biology!
- Period sex is SAFE! – No one is going to develop a disease just because of period sex. However, the chances of spreading an STI do increase, so if you have one, please talk about it with your partner and use protection. However, if you don’t, stop worrying!
- Period sex is HEALTHY! – An orgasm or two might actually help you with your cramps! All the endorphins released during sex can help numb cramps for a while.
- Period sex CAN CAUSE PREGNANCY! – It is unlikely, but early ovulation can occur quite erratically. Sperm cells can live in the vagina for upto 5 days, so please use protection or contraception even if you do not have an STI’s if you’re not trying to get pregnant!
- Period sex can be GREAT… – If you’re normally turned off by how much lube you have to use, or how dry you are, worry not in the red week! Your vagina is much better lubricated (for obvious reasons) AND you’re probably sexually charged because of the hormones – what more do you need?
- …For HIM too! – Perhaps the blood will freak him out for a second, but he’s got to get over it eventually. It flows within him too! But do let him know that once he tries, he won’t care anymore about the blood. The only downside is that you probably can’t convince him to eat you out.
- Period Sex is NOT A HASSLE! – Period sex does not look like a massacre. Usually, if you do it after the first two-to-three heavy flow days, hardly a drop or two escape while he’s inside you. But even if you do it on your heaviest day, lay a towel down under yourself and you won’t have any problems. But if this repulses you, you can always use this to change up your sex a little! Take the shower, for example! Or try it standing up! Use that extra lubrication to have otherwise-difficult experiences.
If you still think period sex is bad or wrong, you’re probably engaging in superstitious thinking. Sam Harris explains this kind of thought with a great example: What if you were given access to a shirt that was worn by Jeffrey Dahmer? You might not want to wear it, but why? It was definitely washed at least a hundred times. But you still recoil at the idea of this. Depending on how disgusted you are by period sex, your feelings can be likened with other items, perhaps items that wouldn’t even have his DNA, like his television, or something in the middle, like a watch. Whatever item you pick, your disgust toward it is no more justifiable than your disgust towards period sex. However, a little careful introspection may change your feelings towards it. For example, what if the item was a beautiful chandelier? What if the partner you were having period sex with was the one you’ve loved more intensely than ever before?
Some thought can definitely blue these superstitiously created feelings, and my hope is that you engage in a dialogue that promotes this inquiry. However, if despite all this, you cannot change how you feel, you can communicate that to your partner in a diplomatic manner: Instead of saying period sex is disgusting, say you have given it thought, but simply cannot rid yourself of your reaction to the idea, so you would rather not engage in the act until you feel ready.