Having a Baby At 40: How to Spice Up Your Sex Life?

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As you all know, sex is an integral part of our holistic wellness. But, for some, pregnancy may impact their sex life adversely. For the to-be mothers, especially while having a baby at 40, they might be concerned about the complications. These thoughts and other physical concerns may influence their sex life. 

If you are a mother, during the gestation period and after delivering your little one, there may be a decrease in the frequency of sexual intercourse. It will be evident, especially during the third trimester while you are pregnant. Similar to the mothers, to-be fathers might also have concerns about their sex life.

During pregnancy, many couples and to-be mothers avoid penetrative sex. It is because of the fear of miscarriage, nausea, infection, etc. After delivery, lifestyle changes and other factors may bring in a decrease in sexual satisfaction.

Most mothers return to a sexually active stage after their perineum heals and the lochial discharge decreases. It takes around two to four weeks for that to happen, but it can be highly subjective. If the mother had a C-section, care is essential, and it is best to avoid pressure while having sex for a few months. 

Now, let’s examine some of the problems faced by new mothers that affect their sex life. We will then focus on the ways of spicing up your sex life after having a baby at 40.

Problems That You May Face While Being Intimate After Having a Baby at 40

While being physically intimate after having a baby at 40 or even before that, you may have some concerns. Here, we will look into some of the problems faced by mothers after delivery.

Body Image Issues

Different societies have diverse views on body image, and these social constructs may influence a new mother’s thought process. It can lead to expectations resulting in psychological distress and body dissatisfaction. 

Due to this, most mothers decide to step down from their sex life, thinking that their partner won’t find them attractive. Even before giving birth to the child, these thoughts can cause anxiety related to weight gain. It can pave the way for eating disorders, and even before delivery, they might start taking measures to enhance weight loss. 

As per a research survey with 700 participants conducted by the University College London, one in fourteen women had body image issues. Similarly, Body Image Perception (BIP) can alsoimpact eating and sexual behavior during pregnancy.

Post-Partum Depression

Post-partum depression has become a condition that is quite common. It can last longer than baby blues, and as per CDC, one in seven mothers have this concern. 

While having a baby at 40, post-partum depression is something you have to consider. Its prevalence can worsen your sexual experience for about six months after having your little one. One of the reasons for post-partum depression is the biological changes happening in the mother. Other than post-partum depression, anxiety is an issue that new mothers may have. These issues can impact sex life and sexual behavior after having a baby at 40 and even before that.

Hormonal Issues

Hormonal changes happen after delivery, and there will be a drop in estrogen level. It would affect the sexual inclination of the person and impact the libido. 

Besides, a lower level of estrogen can also cause vaginal dryness. It can also have an impact similar to menopause levels. Another factor is the increase in prolactin level, which leads to milk production. Prolactin can also reduce the level of estrogen and ultimately affect sexual appetite.

Although you might take time to overcome these hurdles, there are always ways to spice up your sex life after having a baby at 40. Now, let’s have a look at the ways to enhance your intimate moments.

Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash

Focus on Rebuilding Intimacy

While having a baby at 40, it is essential to reclaiming your intimacy. Here, you have to take things slow and give importance to feeling each other. It may not be about having a candlelight dinner or going on a dinner date. You can prioritize feeling each other and enhancing the libido through psychological interactions. Besides, reconnecting is an essential part of having a stable relationship. It will help your child understand these values while they grow up.

Talk More and Listen

As part of spicing up your sex life after having a baby at 40, you have to express your love and feelings with your partner. Here, it will benefit you both if you have conversations that discuss beyond your baby. Besides, getting intellectually close to each other can also be an excellent start at rebuilding intimacy. 

Speaking and listening to each other can help build open communications. If you have trouble starting, take baby steps and then build up. For instance, checking on each other can be something that you and your partner can adapt.

Try Going Digital

Well, going digital is an excellent way to spice up your sex life. Bringing in sexting with spot-on tempting and teasing can be a great start. Here, you can send a sexy photo in your sexiest dress from your wardrobe. 

Other than that, try out sending a dirting text while your partner is close to you. You can find different ways to enhance your sexting and digital game here.

Bring in New Sex Positions

After having a baby at 40, you might feel that your sex life is sliding by a little. It is when you can spice things up by trying out new sex positions. Through this, you can reaffirm your intimacy and bonding. You can draw inspiration from Elle Chase’s Curvy Girl Sex for sex positions.

​​Besides, you can try out different sex positions at diverse places and even take it up on the dining table. You can have sex by placing a mirror in front of you and immersing yourself in a sneak peek. One of the sex positions worth trying is the lap dance, which you can try by bending onto a counter.

Exercises and Meditation to Improve Your Sex Life

Sex and meditation have their benefits in improving your well-being. Both of them involve diaphragmatic breathing and focus on the present moment. By engaging in them, you can keep yourself free from daily hassles. Besides, meditation can help you move beyond sexual stress too. Other than meditation, deep breathing exercises, baths, and yoga can also be rejuvenating. The prevalence of stress can affect your libido, which in turn may impact your sex life. Exercising can help reduce the cortisol level and create feel-good hormones. Walking, jogging, biking are some aerobic exercises worth trying. As per Lori A Brott in PsyPost, meditation can enhance the chances of having an orgasm, arousal, and desire.

Setting Up the Mood

Well, planning a romantic evening together or going on a date night are things you can try out. Here, you can distance yourself from your phone and avoid interruptions of any kind. During this time, it is best not to have conversations about your baby and try to have this date while your little one is asleep. 

As part of setting up the mood, you can try out sensual massages, which can be a great way to explore each other. Here, you can engage in a conversation with your partner about your insecurities. 

Seek Help If Necessary

There is nothing wrong with seeking help if necessary. Currently, there is an increase in the number of couples participating in counseling. It is because of the changes in roles, financial concerns, etc. If you are a new mother facing post-partum depression, it is essential to seek professional help. Other than counseling, group, and individual therapies can also help overcome negative thoughts.

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